Holiday Season Magic: Redefining Time for Moms
As moms, the holiday season often feels like a race against time. We’re trying to make every moment magical, every tradition meaningful, and every gift just right. But what if time wasn’t something we could capture in minutes or hours, or even days and months? What if, instead, time was abundant, endless, and meant to be lived moment by moment?
This holiday season, let's rethink time together. Let’s consider that the pressure we feel to fit it all in, to get things “done” perfectly and on time, is actually an illusion—one that causes us more stress than joy. Instead of feeling like time is slipping away, what if we see it as a gentle current, flowing with us instead of something we have to battle against?
The Illusion of Control and the Myth of Rushing
So often, we try to “control” time by making endless lists, rushing from one task to another, and managing every detail. But in doing this, we fall into the trap of thinking that rushing creates more time. It doesn’t. In fact, rushing takes us out of the present, makes us feel overwhelmed, and leaves us feeling like we’re always falling short.
When we try to manage time in minutes and hours, we’re trying to fit our lives into something smaller than it really is. Instead, we can try surrendering to the rhythm of each moment. Being rushed and stressed is, surprisingly, a choice. The next time you feel time slipping away, take a moment to pause and ask yourself if you can make a different choice. Can you step back from the rush? Can you soften your grip?
Tips to Dissolve the Illusion of Rushing
Dissolving the habit of rushing isn’t about getting rid of stress or leaving tasks undone. It’s about letting go of the idea that stress and rushing are necessary to make everything work. Here are some tips to help you find ease in the moment and regulate your nervous system, especially when you’re tempted to speed through this holiday season:
Breathe Deeply and Slowly: When we rush, our breathing speeds up and becomes shallow. Take a deep, slow breath, then exhale even more slowly. This simple act can immediately calm your nervous system, creating a moment of peace and allowing you to center yourself. Consider setting an alarm that reminds you to pause and take three deep breaths at the top of each hour.
Ground Yourself with Simple Sensations: Find grounding in your senses. Notice the feeling of your feet on the floor, the scent of spices in your kitchen, or the warmth of holiday lights. These sensations bring you back to the present moment, where time isn’t measured by a clock but by experience.
Create “Being” Moments in Your Day: Schedule small, intentional moments to just be. Sit with a hot cup of tea for five minutes, savor the quiet of early morning, or put your phone down while spending time with loved ones. Moments like these don’t “accomplish” anything on a to-do list, but they give you time to connect and recharge.
Resist Multi-Tasking: The idea that we can get more done by juggling multiple things at once is often counterproductive. Choose to focus on one task at a time, and give it your full attention. If you’re wrapping gifts, immerse yourself in it. If you’re reading to your kids, be fully present. Single-tasking allows you to sink into time, and it’s a reminder that being in the moment is more valuable than crossing off everything on your list.
Prioritize Rest and Self-Compassion: Remember, when you feel overwhelmed, you don’t have to push yourself harder. You can choose to rest, say “no” to something, or simply move slower. Give yourself permission to be human and embrace imperfections.
Love Over Need: The Secret to a Joyful Holiday Season
One of the most powerful tools I’ve found for slowing down and embracing the holiday spirit is something a wise mentor once shared with me. They asked, “Are you doing this because you need to or because you love it?” Now, whenever I feel rushed, I pause and ask myself, Am I doing this out of love, or out of need?
The Subtle Shift from Need to Love
This tip may be tricky but is also essential. Ask yourself: Do I love this because I need it, or do I need it because I love it? For example, when you feel pressured to buy gifts, write Christmas cards, decorate, or attend holiday gatherings, consider if it’s driven by love for the season or a need to appear on top of it all. Often, the need is rooted in wanting to be the perfect mom, the life of the party, or to fill in gaps from our own childhoods. Yet, actions driven by need often distract us from our truth, self-worth, peace, and joy.
On the other hand, consider what you need because you genuinely love it. If serving others, giving gifts, and sharing the holiday spirit lights up your soul, then those actions don’t feel like a chore—they’re a joy! Finding time for these things isn’t a sacrifice; it’s essential nourishment for your spirit.
A Christmas Card Epiphany: Letting Go of “Need” Connections
I realized the impact of this mindset shift when I reflected on my own holiday ritual of sending Christmas cards. I love receiving cards from close friends and family. I pin them up, look at them daily for months, and, when I finally take them down, I say a prayer for each cherished person. However, every year, I also open cards from businesses, distant relatives I rarely see, or casual acquaintances, which, while appreciated, I don’t feel as connected to. These often go right into the recycling bin.
In that moment, I realized that my own Christmas card list was likely full of people who felt similarly—a nice gesture but not soul-stirring. So, I pulled a “Marie Kondo” on my list, asking, Do I love this because I need to feel family-oriented or keep business contacts alive? Or do I truly need this because I love sharing the holiday spirit with them?
This exercise freed me from the weight of holiday obligations that didn’t resonate with my soul. Now, my holiday season feels simpler and more joyful, focused on actions that genuinely fill me up.
As you move through this holiday season, try asking yourself: Am I doing this out of love or need? Choose to fill your time with love-centered choices, and you may find that peace and joy effortlessly follow.
Embracing Time Abundance
Time is an abundant gift that flows with us rather than against us. This holiday season, every time you feel the urge to rush or stress, pause and ask yourself, “How can I choose ease right now?” Practicing this approach helps us see that time expands when we give ourselves permission to enjoy each moment as it is.
The greatest gift you can give yourself and your family isn’t a perfectly executed holiday but a season spent together in the richness of time. This year, embrace each moment with grace, joy, and calm. Because time, like love, is meant to be endless, abundant, and shared.